"I'd love to do this!"
"Such a good idea."
"I'm up for it."
"When does this start?"
How about right now?
GLORIA sent me a snippet, so let's gather around her in what wonderful writer Parker Palmer calls a Circle of Trust. (By the way, his book A Hidden Wholeness is amazing. Love me some Parker Palmer). It works this way:
* You read Gloria's piece and her questions.
* In a comment, you tell her what you like about the piece. That always comes first.
- Then address her question by ASKING questions. "What does the scream sound like?" "What are the soldier's eyes like?" "How big is the window?" That way, Gloria can figure out what she needs to do by answering those questions. Get the idea?
All right, then. I give you GLORIA:
He spun around. There, standing in the doorway, was a soldier in silver uniform. Screams rose beyond the door. Wilford’s eyes darted to his own sword, resting on a chair.
On the other side of the room.
“Is something wrong?” The soldier smirked, but he wasn’t listening. They were under attack.
Get out, he had to get out.
He ran for his sword, ripping it out of its sheath and whirling around. The soldier had come in and stopped mere feet away, his hand resting idly on the pommel of his sword. The smirk grew bigger, as though knowing who would win the fight.
The soldier drew his weapon.
Wilford swung his blade and the soldier jumped back easily. Another swing, and the two swords met. He heard another scream.
More were coming, he had to get out.
Hacking and swinging, he pushed the soldier back until he was against the wall, the clash of steel ringing in his ears. He had to finish this, then escape before others came. Through the window, perhaps. The swords met once more and he pressed down, his blade inching closer to the exposed neck . . .
GLORIA'S QUESTION: I'm hoping for input on how to write action/fight scenes, because it isn't sounding very smooth to me.
If you want us to circle YOU and YOUR excerpt, just email me. We are all in this together.